Quick fix eye-candy comic to placate you ….
Ho hummmmmm…… It’s high time I did another post in this sleepy little blog that only eight really cool people read regularly. There are over six billion people in the world, and 1 billion of them have internet. But there aren’t that many really cool people in the world, unfortunately. The other six that aren’t subscribers yet don’t know about me and I don’t know about them. (The number six is a mathematical estimate, based on my statistical analysis of general surfing behaviour courtesy of google.) I have no business writing how to increase your fan base, being how mine is so small. Duh.
That doesn’t stop those other guys. “Increasing your blog readership” is the subject of every other blog for bux article on the internet which is just a rehash or straight plagiarism of other blog for bux articles on the internet and most of those guys are wannabes with only 10 readers and five of them are their drinking buddies and their mom. They’ll talk about this or that, but it’s even simpler. What I’ve found — the unblemished truth: To get a see Angelina Jolie Naked!!!! lot of reads you need to pander to the most base in human nature, pimp it up with tittie pix, and alter your writing style to stuff keywords — which I regard as an insult to freedom. I refuse to do i!t. I will not be bought — hence my small but very awesome fan base. My words are just like they came out of my brain.
And what are the results?
From the looks of things, the “good” posts here only get read by my eight smart and cool fans; yet here and elsewhere, I get oodles and gobs of reads on a post that I threw together in 10 minutes if it has soap opera in it.
Soooooo……. If you’re some slack-jawed drooling twit looking for the tittie pix, tough, I lied. You’ve sorta been dorkrolled, if you will.
And if you’re looking for a tech read, there are a number of good evergreen posts here, and projection analysis show that there is a 99.99% probability that you haven’t read all of them yet; in fact there is a 99.9% probability that you haven’t read any of them yet, and there is a 99% probability that you won’t read any of them now. But just in case……. Might I direct you to the site map, or the search box (Right Sidebar) or the category links. (Left Sidebar, upper) Those things are standard blogvigation controls to help you find what interests you. They are not some weird “unique to this blog” interface that you have to learn before you can find anything here. Yet my actual recorded stats show that 99.99% of visitors ignore them and view only the most recent post, and there is a 84.9% chance that the most recent is not the best one –I guarantee you this one ISN’T!– and that probability increases the more posts the blog accumulates, as long as it stays on track.
Now kick my butt with comments, and maybe I’ll write something good next time. Meanwhile I’m gonna plot visitors to my about page and laugh. Don’t you know that 63.8% of statistics are made up on the spot?